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| dear 2011 , it's been a year of constant struggles, times where there were more downs than ups. i'm thankful for the friends that have kept me grounded & sane the past year. i love you all very much (except my tolerance level is getting lower, so please pardon me when i say shut up), & i do hope everyone stays happy, at least for the first week of the new year. xoxoxoxoxo | | |
| everything is falling apart right now . there are so many times i wish i could just take off with just a snap of fingers but there's so many things to consider . there's work first of all , my family , my friends and the most important issue of finances . i'm so tired of life here right now . everyday i look forward to falling asleep but not the times i wish i was asleep . bangkok in a month's time , can't wait for it . | | |
| hello xanga , it's been so long . i've been on an emotional rollercoaster since two weeks back , with so many questions and many different types of answers . there's hardly any decision to make , it's just easier if the answer pops out of nowhere . feeling comfortable and living in the moment might just be my life's motto right now . it certainly feels wrong being this way , but sometimes , circumstances like these makes me feel a little more alive . been crying so much it's pretty much the same cycle every day- wake up , tumblr , shower , work/ eat/ nap , come home , tumblr more/ eat/ watch movies , sleep . pretty much the same life . i'm happy when i'm with you . i hope you know that , but then again , i guess i'll never deserve you at all . i am tired of playing these games with you , so i might just start leaving you to play with yourself . goodbye. | | |
| I don't really know what's the point of staying alive when no one bothers caring for you at all . My life feels cheap . I wonder why am I still here , why did God even create me , and my existence doesn't even matter to anyone in the world . Not even for one second where I feel it .
Somehow I feel like I should hibernate and steer clear of everyone . I know I don't matter to anyone anymore . Time to evacuate and leave this place of hurts . | | |
| Tired of everything that routines could eventually make you tired of .
I'm actually feeling afraid , the insecurities that makes me feel so alone & so left behind . The past few days have been a struggle , I'm still trying to survive . Thinking about XXXXXXXXXXXXXX amount of things in my head before I sleep each night , it doesn't help that I tend to think too much . Sigh .
Should get over YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY because . No reason . But I should . Feel like disappearing because I really don't matter anymore . Screwed up everything , sounds like me again . | | |
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